There was a woman named Janice Kaplan who didn’t start particularly grateful. She admitted she was doing fine on the surface. She had a successful career and a stable life, but internally, she was constantly irritated. Small things bothered her. People disappointed her. Nothing quite felt like “enough.”
So she ran an experiment. For one full year, she committed to actively practising gratitude, not as a feeling, but as a discipline. And what she did was to write down what she was thankful for every day. And more importantly, she began doing something uncomfortable, expressing gratitude in situations where it didn’t come naturally. She knew she wasn’t born with it, so it wouldn’t feel familiar until she had done it repeatedly and long enough that it became part of her.
Among the things she did was thank her husband not just for big gestures, but for ordinary things she had been overlooking for years. She thanked colleagues she had previously judged and even forced herself to find something to appreciate in frustrating situations, such as late deliveries, difficult conversations, and unmet expectations.
At first, it felt artificial as you would expect. It seemed almost dishonest to some, particularly those who didn’t expect gratitude for the less-than-ideal way they had treated you. However, something changed over time. She began to realise that the more she practised gratitude, the less room there was for irritation. It was not that life became perfect, but because her approach and interpretation of life changed.
Situations that once felt like personal offences started to feel neutral and human. People she labelled as “difficult” became human—flawed, yes—but also contributing in ways she had ignored.
Her relationships improved. Her stress has reduced. Her sense of satisfaction increased—not because her circumstances changed dramatically, but because the lens through which she viewed reality got better. But gratitude did not erase the reality around her. It made her see more details. It basically reorganised it. And gave her a new pair of higher eyes and higher tolerance.
Even when the pain is still there, she didn’t pretend, but refused to make it the only headline. When you practice gratitude consistently, you start to see something most people miss. Gratitude trains your mind to notice the things that strengthen you.
Naturally, our brain is a bit negatively biased. It is no one’s fault; it is a survival instinct ingrained in us. For thousands of years, those who remained vigilant to danger, negativity, and what was missing were the ones who ultimately thrived. Your ancestors were the ones who worried most, and that’s precisely why you’re here today. And it’s not surprising if you are more of a worrier, and less of a warrior.
Things have changed over time. Worries kept our ancestors on their toes and moved them forward; today, to worry is to focus more on the negatives, and the only direction they lead is backward.
Gratitude is your intentional override for living better today. It’s like choosing what gets to you in life and discarding what you don’t want. It is not toxic positivity — it is neurological recalibration. When you name what you are grateful for genuinely, specifically, not just as a ritual, something positively measurable happens. Cortisol drops. Dopamine shifts. The grip on what is wrong loosens slightly. Not because your problems disappeared, but because your focus got better and you now realise how much you have is far bigger than what’s missing.
You start seeing that the problems exist within a larger life that also contains more goodness, and you will be able to see the sparks and glitters in your life.
Gratitude may come naturally on some days, but it requires you to choose it at all times. Some of the most powerful moments of thankfulness happen in the middle of difficulty, not because everything is fine, but because you decided to look for what is fine.
“Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, and confusion into clarity. — Melod Beattie”
If you want to start right away, write down three specific things you are grateful for. Not categories but with details. Who, what, when, why it mattered. Throughout the day, make an effort to open your eyes to the good side of things; you often rush past it. It will help you notice what you have before you start fixating on what you lack, as you did before.